She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
