Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
