The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
