I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
