Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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