Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
