You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
