she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
