I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize