i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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