ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
