let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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