even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
