you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
