I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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