bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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