hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
