WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
