Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize