dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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