One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My ass is underappreciated
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
