I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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