i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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