I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
