Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
