I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
