Tell her she can't have a vagina
wanna go halves on a baby?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
