He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I touched a dick in church today
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
