I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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