I just saw a hot homeless man
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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