No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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