i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
