please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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