did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
