that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
