can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
