Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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