my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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