i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
