btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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