I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize