i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize