you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize