Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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