dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
