This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize