Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
