So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
