So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
