He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
