I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
