That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
