I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
