whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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