i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am one with the molecules
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
