Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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