alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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