I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
