I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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