I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
