hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
