he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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