Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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