During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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