just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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