i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
