I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
