I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
